OMG PD: Paul Bunyan Doppelgänger, Show and Tell Gone Bad

Lumberjack Disguises Get You as Far as Motel 6

Police officers nabbed the man known as the 'Bearded Bandit' this week, responsible for an eight-month string of bank heists across the region. The burly facial hair that gave him his moniker was found to be a fake, according to reports. The thief, thought to have stolen thousands of dollars, was tracked down in a Route 6 motel in Seekonk, MA.

Keep It In Your Pants

One North Kingstown road has been anything but PG this month after two men where charged with indecent exposure. The first man (known around Wickford for his “revealing attire,” including a “small Speedo swimsuit”) was reportedly seen masturbating at his window. Days later, neighbors called police after seeing another man exposing swimsuit area while sunbathing with a rubber band around his penis. The man later told police that he didn’t recall exposing himself but that his penis has a propensity to come out while he sleeps.

A woman driving in Middletown also got a rude surprise when she caught a fellow driver snapping a picture of his genitals to send his girlfriend. She told police she looked twice, just to confirm.

“I Hope That You Guys Make Mistakes”

Most hope that our members of law enforcement don’t screw up in the line of duty. One Jamestown man is actually hoping for the opposite after his DUI arrest this week. When police asked the 22-year-old man if he was the most sober person in his car, he allegedly said, “No, I doubt it.” During processing, the man repeatedly asked officers if they were making mistakes and then said, “For my sake, I hope that you guys make mistakes.” After the man reportedly failed multiple times to blow enough air into the Breathalyzer, he allegedly registered a .223 and .215 blood alcohol level in two tests. Before he was released, the man allegedly asked police if they could make some sort of “mistake" during their report to help him out. The police refused his request.  

Reckless Roller Blader Arrested on Warrant

A Woonsocket police officer "pulled over" a roller blader after he allegedly coasted through a stop sign, almost got hit by a vehicle and then made a less-than-flattering hand gesture. After he was asked to sit on a curb, he was arrested for a warrant related to a breaking and entering case.