Naked Man Calls Officer ‘Honky Racist’ Middletown police had their hands full from the get-go with one arrest last week. Police pulled the man over and asked him to exit his car after they reportedly smelled marijuana. Apparently, the man didn’t quite understand the new marijuana decriminalization laws and began yelling, “Marijuana is legal now. Why you being aggressive? This is ‘cause I’m black.” He allegedly refused to cooperate with police, calling them racists and reiterating that he was a grown man. Things didn’t settle down once they got the man in handcuffs in the police cruiser as he …

(Un)lucky Number 84 The luck of the Irish was not with the 84 people arrested at this year’s St. Patrick’s Day celebration in Newport. Plot twist: most of those arrests were alcohol-related charges. According to Newport police, 37 people were cited with possession of alcohol in public while 31 minors were charged with possession of alcohol. Fourteen more were charged with disorderly conduct with eight arrested on assault charges. Last, but not least, only two people were charged with urinating in public.  Teen Tries to Sell Stolen Phone Back to Its Owner One Barrington teen may find himself …

Truly A Man’s Best Friend One Boston man’s decision to settle an argument with a golf club turned out badly when the victim’s dog had a different agenda. The man was embroiled in an argument with two Woonsocket men last week at a party when he grabbed a golf club and allegedly hit both men in the head. That’s when the victim’s pit bull intervened and attacked the man, biting his calf, hand and chin. (Check out the mug shot to the right if you don’t believe us.) The dog’s owner was seriously injured in the attack while the victim sustained life-threatening injuries. He is facing two felony …

Notably Over the Limit This week’s highest blood alcohol content measurement allegedly goes to one 34-year-old man from South Kingstown. At a whopping .326, this man was allegedly more than four times the legal limit when he drove his car into a stone wall in South Kingstown, according to police reports. To add to the story, it seems the man hadn’t quite learned from past experiences: according to reports, he was arrested by Narragansett police only 13 days prior on charges of (you guessed it) drunken driving. Love (and Cars) in the Air For Valentine’s Day Love was in the air this past …

An Armless Snowman? Following last week’s blizzard, snowmen began springing up across the state. One household in South Kingstown decided to create something a bit more unique with their excess snow and erected a 10-foot phallic sculpture. Police were called the house not once, not twice but four times in a span of two days. For now, the snow soldier will remain. Police say that the sculpture is protected by free speech and is o private property.   Clerk Foils Armed Robbery Two would-be robbers got more than they bargained for this week when they attempted to rob a convenience store in …

Man Charged With Trying to Destroy City Menorah While many have focused on the holiday/Christmas tree debacle, one man has not forgotten about the menorah. According to police, a 34-year-old Cranston man (see featured picture) was seen maliciously attacking the city’s menorah one night in an effort to destroy it. (According to police, the menorah was undamaged following the attack.) The religious crusader – a follower of the Zoroastrianism faith, according to his blog – yelled at police and said the city shouldn’t be putting up religious displays, telling them, “This is an infringement of my…

Deer and marijuana – it’s what’s for dinner. A possible “deer jacker,” which is not nearly as dirty as it sounds, was arrested by North Kingstown police and charged with drunken driving. Police said that the Coventry resident had accidentally driven his car into a ditch, and a search revealed 10 shotgun shells and a handheld flashlight. Police believed that the man was “deer jacking” at one point – shining the flashlight at the deer to blind them, then shooting them. A shotgun was found nearby, outside the man’s car, and he was charged with drunken driving. Police also noted that during his …

  Teacher Gets Heat for Chilly Punishment Most elementary school students would probably jump at the opportunity to get out of a classroom and outside. In Cranston, two third graders have a very different experience when a substitute teacher used a trip to the outside world as punishment. According to a school official, the substitute sent the pair outside in chilly temperatures as punishment for talking during class. The teacher has been fired from the Cranston school system. Drunk Man Fails to Break Into Own Car, Disappears One North Kingstown man drew attention to himself during his …

Not Your Grandparents’ Scavenger Hunt An annual scavenger hunt in South Kingstown has us wondering what is in the water down there. The hunt, organized by seniors at the high school, is not a school-sanctioned event and produced a bevy of complaints on the night of Nov. 3. According to reports, a Toyota Camry’s roof was caved in and windshield shattered after students jumped on the car and wooden posts were ripped out of the ground near the high school. Students were seen streaking near the Narragansett sea wall and several others were allegedly in one Wakefield business stripping in the …

Putting the Kar in Karma One man’s alleged decision to drive under the influence came back to haunt him pretty quickly this week. According to reports, a Portsmouth man decided to stop to “take a pee” after a night of drinking in Newport. He forgot one little thing – to put the car in park. The car rolled backwards and, after the man attempted to jump into the car to hit the brake, pinned him between the car door and a tree.  Officers found the man nearly three hours later in “good spirits,” despite the fact that his leg was numb. The man’s blood alcohol level allegedly measured at .113 and .…

‘Curvy Sweet Dark Chocolate’ Woman Charged With Prostitution A “sweet seductive companion” was apparently not seductive enough to wiggle her way out of prostitution charges. North Kingstown, South Kingstown and East Providence police collaborated to nab the 28-year-old North Kingstown woman suspected of engaging in prostitution in her apartment. An EP detective went undercover to the woman’s apartment after police discovered her online ad – which described her as a “sweet seductive companion” and “curvy sweet dark chocolate” who exclusively catered to the “older men.” When the EP detective …

Man Blames Mystery Mechanic For Accident Many children pin blame on their imaginary friends. One Woonsocket man nearly did the same – blaming a hit-and-run accident on an imaginary mechanic. According to reports, the 27-year-old man had sideswiped a car earlier in the day and left the scene. When officers confronted the man about the accident, he told them his mechanic named “Miguel” was driving the vehicle earlier in the day and was trying to set him up.  Furthering police’s suspicions, the man was unable to provide Miguel’s last name, address or phone number. Police noted that the man …

Dog Bites Postal Worker East Greenwich Police may have thought a reported dog bite was a prank. According to reports, police received a call that a Rottweiler-shepherd mix had charged at a woman and lunged at her arm. Normally, we wouldn’t include such a routine police item, but considering the victim’s profession – a postal worker – we made an exception. (We thought this just happened in the movies.)   You’re Doing it Wrong On the list of places to hide your crack, one’s digestive tract is probably somewhere near the bottom. According to Woonsocket Police, a 22-year-old man (arrested on a …

  Dog Survives 11-Miles While Wedged in Car Grille If ever there was a dog that deserved the name Lucky, it would be this poodle. According to East Providence police, the little pup (named Suzie) survived an 11-mile journey from Taunton to EP – while wedged in the grille of a car. The dog was struck by a car after it ran into the road. The driver, unaware there was a canine stuck to his car, continued driving until someone flagged him down in EP. Suzie somehow managed to avoid serious injury, suffering a concussion, and was later reunited with her owners.  Eager to Avoid 5 O’Clock Shadow One …

  Lumberjack Disguises Get You as Far as Motel 6 Police officers nabbed the man known as the 'Bearded Bandit' this week, responsible for an eight-month string of bank heists across the region. The burly facial hair that gave him his moniker was found to be a fake, according to reports. The thief, thought to have stolen thousands of dollars, was tracked down in a Route 6 motel in Seekonk, MA. Keep It In Your Pants One North Kingstown road has been anything but PG this month after two men where charged with indecent exposure. The first man (known around Wickford for his “revealing attire,” …

Wedding Crashers: Block Party Edition A North Kingstown man gave two unwelcome guests to his block party an unwelcome surprise this past weekend. According to reports, a pair of intoxicated Kent County residents crashed a block party in North Kingstown while visiting a friend down the road. The pair, along with some friends, sat by the fire as the homeowner was trying to clean up the yard. When a 50-year-old woman attacked him for putting out the fire with the garden house, the man allegedly sprayed the woman with the hose in an attempt to stop her from repeatedly hitting him with his own …

A South Kingstown man was arrested for allegedly stealing a woman's iPhone and then putting it in a bush outside the Ocean Mist in Narragansett.  Police said when they confronted the man about this, he brought them outside, to where he had hid the phone in the shrubbery. He told police he had been upset about the Patriots game. Man rips off bride: A North Providence man was charged with stealing a $300 check that was later deposited by his girlfriend. On July 30, he allegedly stole the money meant as a wedding present at Canonchet Beach Clubhouse.  He was previously fired from a catering …

Bridge jumper clings to crustacean cluster: A man who jumped from the Jamestown Verrazzano Bridge Saturday night got another chance at life after surviving the 135-foot fall.  The Jamestown Harbormaster received a call that a man had jumped from the bridge's center span and into Narragansett Bay around 8:30 p.m. He found the man clinging to a mass of mussels and calling "help me, help me." According to rescue personnel, the man did not break any limbs in the fall but most likely sustained internal injuries. Woman uses train tracks as personal parking lot: A Hopkinton woman was arrested around…

Driving is an adventure in North Kingstown. From one police log covering just three days… A Coventry driver was charged with drunken driving after sideswiping a car, although he told police he hadn’t had a drink in 14 years. A pair of North Kingstown men tried to steal car parts from an auto salvage yard. After a traffic stop and a pat-down, a passenger told police he “forgot” he had a baggie of marijuana on him. A bunch of other cars have been broken into, and finally, a South Kingstown woman was arrested for reckless driving – with her daughter in the car – when police clocked her at 68 …

Man Calls Police After Being Kicked Out of Bar by Officer: A Portsmouth man was arrested last Saturday at the Atlantic Beach Club after he allegedly got into a scuffle with other barflies and was subsequently carried out of the establishment by a police officer. But apparently the encounter didn't deter the man from attempting to put the situation right. When officers arrived in response to a 911 call, police said the man ran toward the officer, demanded he do his job and escort him back into the bar and arrest the people who threw him out. He also raised his arms and screamed “I want justice…