You casually mention to your child that school will be starting soon and suddenly they break out into a cold sweat. They might look at you like you just sentenced them to the worst thing they could possibly imagine. They might start protesting loudly and worse yet, they might hit you right on your little heartstrings with, yes, tears.

Maybe not too long after the dreaded announcement, they might clench their fists and pull them right into their stomachs and announce they are now sick, they don’t feel well and they think they are going to throw up.

Well there you have it, an instant anxiety attack. What’s it all about? Is it real or is it a ploy to guilt you into letting them stay home another year or to homeschool them?

This isn’t a new phobia but more a “branch off" the anxiety disorders. It is a challenging issue for a parent to deal with since it is made of mostly irrational fears. Of course some are rational fears. The good news is that those fears can be dealt with and eliminated in most cases without any form of medication.

It is certainly real and not made up but I will say that the extent of the anxiety can be exaggerated depending on the child and the dynamics of the family.

If the child generally does not complain or have anxiety attacks as a habit, you can probably safely assume that they are truly having an anxiety attack, which is usually the case. But beware the children of families where crying, whining and “hissy-fits” usually result in a spoiled child getting whatever they want. Assuming they are not in the habit of pitching fits to get their way, you will probably appreciate some advice on helping your child deal with this situation.

If a parent leaves this situation unattended, it is possible that the symptoms can become worse, and maybe escalate to the point of having the child tutored privately or home-schooling.

Some ways of dealing with this are as follows:

• Ask the child what exactly what it is that they fear. If they are unable to put their thoughts into words, then you can walk them through a sample scenario.

• If they told you what they fear or you have told them step by step what will be happening, explain to them how this fear unfounded or unnecessary.

• Discuss this situation with the new teacher. Let the teacher know of the anxiety and let the child know that you are close by to comfort them if they should need to talk to you or that if it gets really bad in class that the teacher will help them get to a safe place to calm down. (for instance; the library or nurses office if the child cannot use the school phone in the office to phone parents where a child was not given permission from parents to call them at work)

• If the anxiety issue can be cleared up at school and by the teacher then the teacher will help them decide where is best to “gather themselves.” (usually a few minutes away from the others with someone to reassure them is all it takes to be ready to start again) Let the teacher handle it after agreeing on solution when they are at school but you handle it when they are at home.

• Speak to the principal about phasing your child into the new experience if you are able to bring in verification of the anxiety from a family physician.  Sometimes exposing the child to the new situation a little at a time will rid most of the anxiety. If necessary, make an appointment with your pediatrician to have your child evaluated for anxiety  and schedule an evalution  at school for a 504 Plan (ongoing accommodations) if necessary.

School phobia can be so severe that a child can also show signs that are not common anxiety traits. It is possible that a child becomes “voluntarily mute." This means they may suddenly stop talking (the opposite of screaming and crying). Make sure nothing is physically wrong with the child first. Then, make sure you don’t encourage the “silent treatment” to continue by speaking for the child or allowing their other siblings to speak for them.

Again, the child is best known by the parent. It is important to know your child well and to pay attention to the warning signs. If you have difficulty with this situation and find that you might need help, do not hesitate to get professional help involved.

Doctors, counselors and experienced teachers/tutors probably deal with this more often than you think. There is a solution very close at hand. So pry your child's arms off your neck and help them out. They need your help.